By Bishop Wellington Boone | | Category: Kingmakers
In every area of society, some women stand out from the crowd.
I call them Kingmakers.
They’re the women that people remember. They’re the women that people should listen to. They’re the wives, mothers, teachers, and managers who helped others become what they are today. You don’t see the mom behind a person who becomes great, but she’s a Kingmaker, whether you see her or not. She’s under acknowledged and underappreciated, but she’s a Kingmaker just the same.
A Kingmaker is the wife that every man wants. She’s the woman you want to manage your company. She’s the team player who helps you to win.
For a Kingmaker, no task is too difficult; no sacrifice too great. She’s got an inner substance of life that makes a difference in the lives of others. She’s a Kingmaker.
A Kingmaker has the power of influence over another person’s life and the ability from God to make that person great.
Are you a Kingmaker?
When you meet a Kingmaker, it doesn’t take long to realize she’s authentic. She’s the real thing. You just love her integrity and her lack of manipulation. You see a woman without guile. A woman who doesn’t try to build her self-esteem at your expense. She’s already received her sense of value from Jesus. She’s fulfilled. She knows God loves her, and that’s where she gets her self-worth.
When people fail her and fall short in their relationships with her, she doesn’t reject them. She draws on her inner strength to keep loving them, because she’s grateful that God didn’t reject her.
You can be that kind of woman.
Proverbs speaks of wives like that as the wives who excel them all.
Hebrews 11:16 (KJV) says that “God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.”
When you’re a Kingmaker, nobody has to praise you all the time to keep you going, because you live in anticipation of the praise you’ll get in Heaven. To you, that’s better than getting rewards now. You don’t live just for today. You live with the end in view—the next life. You know you have a future—God’s future. You’re purifying yourself and becoming Christ-like daily in every thought, word, and deed. When you see Him, you’ll be like Him. You’re growing more like Him every day.
You’re becoming like Jesus “. . . but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2 KJV).
God Values Women! That’s why they don’t need to march
Women are undervalued by the culture, but not by God. The same One who gave man his purpose and value also gave it to woman. God said she’s a help capable for him. When women march to get men to recognize them, they don’t understand that all they need is God and a sense of how much He values them.
A woman has the ability to add something to everyone she comes in contact with. I call her a Kingmaker because she makes others into something great—a great husband or daughter or whoever they are.
There’s something God gave her that adds to what the man is. A Kingmaker is a lifter. She carries people from her position of humility—her position of lowliness. She doesn’t carry people from above them but she carries them from beneath. She’s like Christ! There isn’t anything in the Kingdom of God that doesn’t relate to lifting. Even when you’re in a high position, you’re lifting others below you.
That’s something Jesus does, and I want to honor those who are like Jesus.
A few years ago, I released a series of three audio messages called “Women Who Are Kingmakers” that described Kingmaker Wives who sacrificially help their husbands fulfill their God-given potential—women like my wife Katheryn (in the picture above).
If you had known me when I first married her, and then compared that man to the man I’ve become now, you would understand that these Kingmaker principles really work. I’m a living example of someone whose life was changed by a Kingmaker.
Kingmaking is not just for women. It’s a Kingdom principle that applies to men as well as women. True Kingmaking transcends gender. It takes you beyond gender and into the relationship of Christ and the Church. However, women seem to understand this principle better than men, so I dedicated this book to women who are Kingmakers.
The album “Women Who Are Kingmakers” quickly became my best-selling series, and I began to receive requests from women wanting a book on that subject. As I continued to explore this topic, it became clear to me that Kingmaking applies to more areas of a woman’s life than just marriage. I began to see it as a generational call to women to change the world! I made a commitment to produce a spiritual and practical book to show women that they have a calling on their lives to be Kingmakers.
Kingmakers are people who are like Jesus. They are willing to humble themselves to help someone else fulfill his or her destiny. In reality, that is the call of every Christian.
Kingmakers In History
Fearless Female: Clara Barton (1821-1912), Founder of American Red Cross
During the Civil War, a single woman named Clara Barton stepped onto the battlefield and became a Kingmaker to the wounded soldiers. In the night, she prayed for the dying soldiers’ wives and sisters, and she prayed for herself, so overwhelmed with their plight. Wartime field nursing was something women had never done. At first she was not welcomed by the commanders, but she was so respectful and helpful that soon their resentment was replaced with gratitude because she brought her own bandages, and lanterns to light the night. In later years she founded the American Red Cross, and created an agency to identify the dead and notify their families. She never married but dedicated her life to serving others. She was a Kingmaker. She wrote to her cousin about being a Christian woman on the front lines, serving others sacrificially:
Miss Barton was moved with Christ-like compassion as she considered the grief that would come to the Union soldiers’ loved ones when they found out that they had died. She wrote,
“Oh northern mothers, wives and sisters, all unconscious of the hour, would to Heaven that I could bear for you the concentrated woe which is so soon to follow, would that Christ would teach my soul a prayer that would plead to the Father for grace sufficient for you, God pity and strengthen you every one.”
Marriage and the Relationship between Christ and the Church
Clara Barton never married, but marriage demonstrates something else about Kingmaking’s spiritual significance—the relationship of Christ and the Church.
When my wife and I got married, we had never heard that marriage demonstrated something about the reality of the Kingdom of God. We didn’t understand the meaning of the biblical role of a husband as representing Jesus and a wife as representing His Bride, the Church. People stayed married “for the sake of the children” in those days, but we didn’t understand that it’s even more important to stay married for the sake of Jesus. Married for the sake of Jesus? That’s really getting back to the basics.
The cause of Christ is advanced when a wife is a Kingmaker submitted to her husband in the same way as it is advanced when the Church submits to Christ. It is advanced when a husband willingly gives his life for his wife, showing the sacrifice of Jesus for the Church.
The Christ-like character of a husband and wife in marrying and staying married looks good to God, and it looks good to the people around you, too. With divorce statistics staying the way they are, a good marriage should be the talk of the town. It should make the evening news on all the networks. More and more people are marrying and staying married, because of Christ.
People will be blessed by your commitment
“People everywhere keep telling me about your lives of faith, and every time I hear them, I thank him” (Romans 1:8 The Message).
On their wedding day, a man and woman create something new—both spiritually and naturally—that can be seen and read of men. Their faithfulness to keep their covenant in later years speaks of the eternal bond between Jesus and the Church. As years pass, their relationship brings the Kingdom of God into reality before the eyes of the world, as they carry the will of God in the womb of their spirit. People can see that this Kingdom is reality! It’s real!
In earlier times, marriage vows like the ones in the Book of Common Prayer emphasized the lifetime covenant of a husband and wife. They read, “For richer, for poorer, till death us do part.” When a woman commits herself to her husband on earth it’s a death covenant. It’s a covenant as serious as committing to almighty God for saving grace. If either spouse breaks the covenant of marriage, how can he or she be trusted with anything else? The covenant-keeping commitment of a Kingmaker—in marriage, ministry, or the marketplace—is a building block of integrity and Christ-likeness.
Kingmakers forsake all others, just as Jesus did.
Marriage Ceremony from The Book of Common Prayer (1662)
“The Minister shall say, Wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
“The Woman shall answer, I will.”
When I was growing up, I never had an example of a happy marriage and family, but out of my relationship with God I discovered spiritual truths about marriage that have made our marriage last. Women can learn to be Kingmakers, regardless of their past. Whether you are married or not, whether you’ve had a good life or a tough one, you can learn to live the way God wants. You just have to know Him and learn His ways.
Becoming the Best
I used to crop tobacco when I was a kid, and I remember how much pride we put into it. I got paid a dollar an hour for cropping tobacco, and you better believe that I earned it! You can imagine what it was like bending over for hours in the hot sun, walking along the field, and as far as you could see, there was no end. You started early in the morning—practically before day—and you went around those stalks, grabbing that tobacco and holding it under your arms. It was wet and gooey, and it was so early in the morning that it was cold! When you got your arms full, you put it on the truck, and you ran back and started cropping some more.
Even though my back was bent over and I was tired and wet, I was determined to beat those other croppers. When I first began, all of them were better at the task and faster than I was. They not only knew how to go around that stalk, they also knew how to do it quickly. My back would be hurting, and by the time I’d stand up and stretch they were about another ten yards in front of me and the truck was gone. I had to run to keep up.
The reason that the other guys and I would race to the end of the field every day was that we took pride in wanting to be the best cropper. It wasn’t just the dollar that we were after. It was the mentality of being somebody. If we were so reduced down that we had to be sharecroppers, we wanted to be the best sharecroppers there were!
It’s the same principle when you’re working for God. You want to be the best Kingmaker He has. Somebody might put you down for being a woman, but when you come to the end of your field and face Jesus on that Great Day, He can say to you, “You did a great job under incredibly difficult conditions. Well done!”
“His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21 KJV).
This life is a race that you’re competing in, and you run to win. This field of life is more important than winning the Olympics or the tennis championship of the world, because other people’s lives are at stake—the people whom your life touches. You run well for them. Paul said there are many who run the race, but only one wins the crown. He said, “Run to win.”
Run to win, with purpose in every step
“Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step.” (1 Corinthians 9:24-26 NLT).
Live a life so full of grace and purpose that there’s no doubt that you resemble Christ.
No one has a better attitude than you. No one is a better servant. Greatness with God is not all about thinking you’re better than someone else and walking all over people. You’re a winner with God when you help people and serve them, as Jesus did. You’re great at loving, generous in giving, intense in dedication, full of good works, and longsuffering. When people mistreat you, you maintain an attitude like the Lord. Your selflessness amazes others. You have all kinds of people around you whom you have made great. You’re a Kingmaker!
In the chapters following this excerpt from my book Women Are Kingmakers! I show you exciting examples of women who became Kingmakers in their generation. Some were known by Presidents, some by slaves, and others simply by their families. But you can be sure that everyone who becomes a Kingmaker for Christ will be known in Heaven.
Crowds roar with approval when author Wellington Boone explains the title of Your Wife Is Not Your Momma. He says, “You men complain, ‘My wife doesn’t cook like my momma. She doesn’t keep house like my momma...' That’s because she ain’t your momma!’" And he always begins with Genesis 2 where God created woman to complete a man and help them to fulfill their destiny in God together in marriage.